Goals Follow Up

So last April I began this mentoring journey. It’s been almost a year. I thought it would be a good time to check in and see where I am with the goals I set in at the beginning of the six month mentoring program.

Here were my goals:

1. Determine my next step career wise
2. Establish a long term career path and associated goals
3. Boost my self-confidence
4. Project a more professional, positive image
5. Improve my weak EQ areas of self-regulation and emotionalism
6. Find a good balance between work and family

Before I give an update on my goals let me say that within the first few weeks my job changed to the point where my goals had to instantly change. This was a good thing because I was promoted to the job I wanted, but at the same time the need to get up to speed in this new role outweighed the need to work on my specific goals. Since my mentor had the job I suddenly found myself in, my mentor was an invaluable resource and became my go to person for just about everything. With that some of the goals still got accomplished. Here’s an update on my progress:

1. It was interesting in that when we talked about next steps career wise, my mentor always had the attitude of why wait. If that is what you want to be doing why not do it now?  Sometimes we need to hear the simple answers. I don’t know that we really nailed this one down because I am not sure what is next for me. For the moment I am satisfied and am focusing on being the best I can be in all my roles at work, as a spouse, and as a parent.
2. Again I’m not at a point where I know what I want to do next. There are so many different paths but at the moment I am content where I am.
3. EQmentor helped boost my self-confidence tremendously. Even the people I work with noticed this change and commented about it.
4. Again the boost in self confidence and projecting a more professional, positive image go hand in hand. These were the biggest benefits I received from EQmentor and are what I needed to boost my career.
5. It was interesting that this was my mentor’s weakest area as well and I could see from my mentors posts on the discussion area that my mentor struggled in this area as well. I don’t feel that my mentor directly helped me in this area. It was more that by me being aware of this problem I was able to tame the outward projection of this problem. There were occasions though where my mentor told me that a certain thing might be better not said and in general my mentor was right.
6. We never had a chance to work on this and I am still struggling with this.

My Final Scores

So six months ago I took an inital EQ assessment. You can read about the results here.

About a month ago I took the final assessment. I received my scores a few days later. My results are what I expected. I did not make huge changes in any of the EQ areas. As you can see with the exception of self-regulation, my scores are already above average in all the other areas.

The changes are all one to two point changes which to me seems pretty insignificant. If any of my friends are reading this I’d be curious to hear your thoughts. Feel free to comment.

Wrapping Up

Last week my 6-month subscription with EQ mentor ended. As one of my final tasks I took an EQ test — which I believe was the same test I took at the beginning of this journey. As soon as I have the results I will share those with you as well as some final thoughts about the process.

Time? Quote of the Day

Lack of direction, not lack of time, is the problem. We all have twenty-four hour days.
~Zig Ziglar

Rule 3

“Let’s examine the record.” Let’s ask ourselves: “What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?”

This is a good one! Even if the event is going to occur, what’s the use in worrying about it? This rule is easier said than done, but it is a good reminder.

Rule 2

Let’s not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember “Life is too short to be little.”

I was reminded of this rule tonight when visiting my spouse’s great-aunt who is in her 70s. She told me story after story of her youth and recalled each and every detail as if it were yesterday. The frailness in her hands and voice reminded me that we are all given a gift of life to make with what we choose. And so much of life is choice. Not accidents. Not fate. But choice.

What is it that we choose to focus our attention on? What memories do we want to have when we are in our golden years? Will you have smile lines or frown lines?

These are the questions I am thinking about today.

Rule 1

I’ve been reading a great book by Dale Carnegie, How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Originally published in 1944 it’s amazing how the key points still apply.

Rule 1: Keep busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest he wither in despair.

Being busy has always had a good effect on my outlook on life. Luckily these days I have been very busy. I’d add to this that exercise is key as well. Moderate exercise is the miracle cure that people often overlook.

Quote of the Day

“The greatest mistake physicians make is that they attempt to cure the body without attempting to cure the mind; yet the mind and body are one and should not be treated separatley.”

Plato

The Final Round

So I am beginning the final month with EQmentor. My mentor and I have both been so busy the past few weeks it’s been hard to stay on top of things.

I will say that I appreciate the fact that my mentor treats me as an adult and not a student and realizes that I have a job and responsibilities. My mentor never overloads me with busy work. Every assignment I’ve received is more of a suggestion and has been completely relevant to what is going on in my work or personal life.

There is a plethora of resources on the EQmentor Web site once you are logged in. There are worksheets for each EQ area that you can work through on your own or with your mentor. The worksheets are indexed by title and by EQ area so you can easily find ones that relate to the area you want to improve.

As I’ve said before though, the most useful thing for me has been having a mentor who works in the position I was promoted to at the beginning of my EQmentor journey. Most of our discussions have gone beyond what is contained on the worksheets and are more directly related to my job.

This last month with consist of a lot of wrap up and planning for the future beyond my time with my mentor when I am on my own.

Leadership

Recent posts have gotten me to thinking about what makes a good leader.

I am thinking of someone I know who I think is an excellent leader. She is always willing to listen. She helps you discover ideas rather than just telling you what you should do. She inspires greatness and creativity in people all around her–beyond just her staff.

The hard part for me is to make the transition from telling people what to do or suggesting what people should do to inspiring them to create their own ideas. Maybe this is something that comes with time? Or maybe this comes from the culture of an organization?

Wikipedia, surprisingly, has a great entry about leadership, and I love this statement.

Management involves power by position.
Leadership involves power by influence.

The article goes on to list twelve distinctions between leaders and managers by Warren Bennis (1989):

• Managers administer, leaders innovate
• Managers ask how and when, leaders ask what and why
• Managers focus on systems, leaders focus on people
• Managers do things right, leaders do the right things
• Managers maintain, leaders develop
• Managers rely on control, leaders inspire trust
• Managers have a short-term perspective, leaders have a longer-term perspective
• Managers accept the status-quo, leaders challenge the status-quo
• Managers have an eye on the bottom line, leaders have an eye on the horizon
• Managers imitate, leaders originate
• Managers emulate the classic good soldier, leaders are their own person
• Managers copy, leaders show originality

How did you make the transition from follower to leader or manager to leader? I’d love to hear from you and share your story.